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Toilet Paper Mom Types, What Type Are You?

Jun 2, 2011

It takes all types of moms to keep a large family bathroom going.
And by going… I mean clean, usable and stocked.

I’m talking about Toilet Paper here folks. I’m talking about the dreaded fear of ALL moms everywhere.

The fear of RUNNING OUT OF TOILET PAPER. (Queue the horror movie scream.)

While we all have the same fear, we are NOT all built with the same TP psyche. We go about our toilet paper lives in many different means and modes.  I’ve been doing extensive mom TP research (Okay, I Facebooked a few friends) and I’ve come up with:

8 Toilet Paper Mom Types

  • There’s the TP Hoarder Mom — She stocks up on sales. She uses coupons. And currently she cannot fit the family wagon in the garage, because it’s filled to the rafters with cases of toilet paper.  This family will never run out of TP, however I’m not sure it’s possible to live on Quilted Northern alone?
  • Have you met the Celebrity TP Mom? — She insists on toilet paper with BLING. It must be embedded with diamond dust and imported. This mom is most often found in overpriced shopping malls or watching the Housewives of Orange County.
  • We all know the Forgetful TP Mom — You show up to her guest bathroom and realize there’s no TP in sight. After checking through multiple cupboards and drawers, you’re forced to dig through your purse and use a receipt. This mom has sticky notes stuck to her forehead and STILL forgets to buy more TP!
  • There’s the stealthy Double Agent TP Mom — She is stingy and deceptive. She tells the family the TP stocks are low- when in fact there are secret stashes in sealed off compartments and behind false double walls. And beware, the secret stocks are all implanted with micro-trackers. She WILL find you if you sneak one.
  • Do you know the Neurotic TP Mom? — She keeps a stash of flushable wipes in her purse. She must use her own TP and rarely uses public potties. She wipes 3 or 4 times (to be sure) and her whole family is on alert for signals that she might have a TP breakdown. They’ve taken to stashing extra rolls in trunks of family vehicles and at pre-appointed stops along the way to work and school.
  • The Whatever Works TP Mom — You name it, she’s used it. Burger King Napkins? Newspapers? Leaves? You know… whatever works!
  • The Recycle TP Mom — Eww… ‘Nuff Said.
  • Last but certainly not least, the TP Mom Sergeant — “Did you use more than 3 squares?!” She counts the rolls daily. Rewards come in the form of extra squares. And lest you think you’re brave enough to cross her on the TP issue, she WILL take your TP rations away for a week!

There you have it.

Which type are you?

I am somewhere between the TP Hoarder and the Double Agent TP Mom – even in financial lows, I still buy in bulk and I’m a Charmin Junkie, Double Rolls of course!

I better NEVER catch you wasting it!!

Full Disclosure: Toilet Paper World asked Carissa Rogers to write a guest post in exchange for TP, after they saw on that she is willing to Blog for Toilet Paper. And she just did.

In a former life, she was a molecular biologist. In her current life she is the chief researcher of blogging karma, parenting dos (and some don’ts) and for spice she pretends to be a photographer…a mom of all trades. Please find her on Twitter, she’s happy to talk mom TP types with you!

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43 Responses to “Toilet Paper Mom Types, What Type Are You?”

  1. LAX car service - June 2nd, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    Ok, so I’m not going to lie and say I’m really good at always having extra TP rolls available. I usually wait last minute and end up taking extra napkins from restaurants when I go eat. So I guess that puts me in the “Whatever Works” category. At least until I have enough money and time to go to the store and buy more.

  2. Therapy Beverly Hills - June 2nd, 2011 at 12:29 pm

    I’m DEFINITELY not the “Whatever works” person because I need soft tissue when it comes to the wipings. These are funny. Thanks for the article Carissa!

  3. Rug Cleaning Santa Monica - June 2nd, 2011 at 12:45 pm

    I don’t want to admit it, but I’m the “forgetful mom”. And I’m a bit of a hypocrite when it comes to that because I know I’ve caught myself looking frantically in my friend’s cupboards with my pants down to my knees. YIKES!

  4. Manuel Porras - June 2nd, 2011 at 12:50 pm

    i hate when the toilet paper is out… i don´t know what to do

  5. Molly - June 2nd, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    Me too! I am probably the Forgetful type, although I don’t have kids, it takes me forever to remember to stock up on toilet paper! Then I turn into the “whatever works”.

  6. Toyota Lease Return Southern California - June 2nd, 2011 at 1:59 pm

    I wouldn’t say I’m a hoarder but I’m very good at making sure there are extra rolls, just in case. I used to be the forgetful mom, but after a couple of cases visiting other friend’s houses that didn’t have any toilet paper, I promised to myself that I’d never put my guests in that position. I hated it!

  7. Title Loans - June 2nd, 2011 at 3:38 pm

    This is a funny post. I guess I never really thought about the different types of “Paper Mom” I am. Hmm..I think I’m the forgetful mom. I think I forget a lot of things…aye ya ya..

  8. Testosterone Treatment Los Angeles - June 2nd, 2011 at 3:53 pm

    I’m not sure what I am, but once I read through all the different types of TP moms I landed on one that sounded exactly like my mom, and that’s the Neurotic TP Mom. It’s not just when it comes to toilet paper but pretty much anything that has to do with sanitation. She not only carries tissue and wipes in her purse, but also antibacterial hand sanitizer as well. I guess it’s always good to be prepared for the worst! I call her Super Mom.

  9. Carissa - June 2nd, 2011 at 5:20 pm

    I’m glad it resonates with ya’ll!

    I agree only takes one time in another house w/out TP to turn you into the intense TP mom eh?

    I like that.. ‘Super TP Mom’.. I’ll go with that next time! Thanks!

  10. Dewan Gibson - June 3rd, 2011 at 8:28 am

    LOL really cool. As someone who’s had to use his socks during emergency situations, I must say you can’t go wrong with free toilet paper:)

  11. Psychotherapist Los Angeles - June 3rd, 2011 at 11:23 am

    I’m the perfect mom that doesn’t forget to stock the toilet paper. Yeah…right! I’m proud to say I’m the forgetful one out of the house that forgets to buy TP or have it available when a roll runs out. That’s what husbands are for right? 😉

  12. Melissa Lierman - June 3rd, 2011 at 11:43 am

    How about “The Frugal TP Dad” ???

    This would be someone I know that buys whatever is the absolute cheapest. It falls into one of two categories = #1 scratchy cardboard like and/or #2 see through and you need 20-30 sheets vs. 4-6!

    This same person is not allowed to by TP for our house anymore! The vote was u·nan·i·mous!!

  13. Carissa - June 3rd, 2011 at 1:34 pm

    SOCKS! Yeah I did NOT realize socks were an option. OY!

    I agree Pschotherapist LA, that IS what dads are for, except not the frugal dad types. SEE thru TP. Oh that is WRONG. In several ways.

  14. Molly - June 3rd, 2011 at 2:05 pm

    Hey guys, you can stock up on bulk toilet paper at – Never run out again :)

  15. new era - June 5th, 2011 at 2:12 pm

    tp moms lol. What is the most important – they all take care about us :)


  16. Carissa - June 6th, 2011 at 7:11 am

    I agree! All mom types are good moms!

  17. Car Title Loans - June 6th, 2011 at 11:36 am

    Hey Carissa-
    This is definitely a funny article! This reminds me of the episode I saw of “Extreme Couponing”. These ladies are definitely my idols because they basically have used coupons to pay for toilet paper and will have about over 1000 rolls stashed in their homes. Talk about bulk!

  18. Carissa - June 6th, 2011 at 11:52 am

    No kidding! I have a friend who will never run out of soap or candy. If there is an earthquake I plan to run to her house to get clean! :)

  19. Molly - June 6th, 2011 at 11:55 am

    Or for emergency sweet tooth situations! I always let my candy stash run out, though I seem to manage to have 4 different kinds of shampoo and soap at a time. I guess we all have our priorities.

  20. Lisa - June 7th, 2011 at 7:11 am

    This is is riot, Carissa. Makes me think of “Can you spare a square?” (Seinfeld episode ; )

  21. Carissa - June 7th, 2011 at 8:20 am

    You are the second person to say that and I swear I’ve never seen that episode!! I am so going to netflix it TONIGHT! :)

  22. Molly - June 7th, 2011 at 8:21 am

    If you want a preview it’s on youtube

  23. Walking Tours Rome - June 13th, 2011 at 3:47 pm

    I’m not the Sargent, but I definitely inspect the toilet paper roll and if I’ve noticed that a lot has been used, I’ll make a fuss about it to my roommate. It just seems like whenever it’s my turn to buy toilet paper, she’ll use as much as she wants. Doesn’t matter who’s “turn” it is..we both need it.

  24. gen - June 13th, 2011 at 11:29 pm

    i hate when toilet paper is out .

  25. gen - June 13th, 2011 at 11:33 pm

    agree ..

  26. Sandra - June 14th, 2011 at 10:17 am

    That is so funny. When my husband gets the toilet paper, he only buys four rolls of the cheapest stuff at a time. This usually equals spending more money in gas for micro trips. I however like to get a lot at one time for the best price. Life is so much easier that way.

  27. Carissa - June 15th, 2011 at 8:25 am

    Awesome.. and I think here at toilet paper world you can get it shipped to you on a recurring basis so you NEVER run out! :)

  28. Testosterone Therapy - July 21st, 2011 at 2:04 pm

    This is such a cute article! My mom was definitely the forgetful one – when I got old enough to drive, I just had to become responsible for the TP-runs myself because if I didn’t buy it, it wouldn’t ever be done!

    :) -Lizzy

  29. Molly - July 22nd, 2011 at 6:42 am

    Taking matters into your own hands makes children resourceful!

  30. Carissa - July 22nd, 2011 at 9:04 am

    Ha! I’ll bet as a grown up you are ALWAYS on top of the TP situation yes Lizzy?

    Reminds me this week a friend adopted abandoned quail chicks, so we of course needed to go see them, right? She was hilarious, she had run out of TP That day and was asking for a roll of TP as admittance to see the baby birds!
    We happily obliged.:)

  31. Testosterone Therapy - July 22nd, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    Carissa – Yep! I am always on top of the TP situation at my apartment now that I live on my own… And that quail situation sounds EXACTLY like something my mother would do! So classic.

    :) Lizzy

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  34. Online Furniture Stores Los Angeles - August 26th, 2011 at 3:21 pm

    I’m the hoarder! It’s like the diagram in the most recent article said… You’re never NOT going to need TP, right?? :)


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  36. Huntington Beach Dentist - October 8th, 2011 at 10:47 pm

    My son has irritable bowel syndrome and uses the toilet paper. A lot of toilet paper. I always try to keep it stocked in the bathroom for him. Anyone with similar experience?

  37. Norah - October 18th, 2011 at 9:05 am

    This is hilarious. I didn’t wake up thinking I’d comment about this, but I can’t help myself. Ours is definitely a hoarder household. Coupons. Check. On sale? Check. Both on sale and there’s a coupon? don’t get in my way. You can NEVER have too much TP.

  38. Molly - October 25th, 2011 at 5:34 am

    Yes, that’s why I buy in bulk now!

  39. Los Angeles SEO - November 21st, 2011 at 11:55 am

    Not sure what kind I will be yet but my mom is a hoarder, with stocking up with coupons.

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  41. Julien - January 29th, 2012 at 6:58 am

    I wouldn’t say I’m a hoarder but I’m very good at making sure there are extra rolls, just in case. I used to be the forgetful mom, but after a couple of cases visiting other friend’s houses that didn’t have any toilet paper, I promised to myself that I’d never put my guests in that position. I hated it!

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