Apr 1, 2011
It has been brought to the attention of ToiletPaperWorld that the United States government has formed a mandate stating that toilet paper will no longer be offered in public restrooms in government buildings throughout the country. Such an extreme measure has been taken in an effort to save money and avoid raising taxes or making budget cuts.
Congress suggests the public carry toilet tissue with them at all times in order to prevent uncomfortable situations or be otherwise inconvenienced. It is hoped that this effort will increase sales of toilet paper by the public and decrease government spending.
While much of the public is outraged by this message, Senator T.P. Caesar from Indiana states this measure is necessary. “We’ve cut the budget in so many areas, the only place left to implement money saving efforts is the bathroom. Many countries around the world do not supply toilet paper to restroom users, and we are simply following suit.”
As previously stated, consumers are not pleased. Iwanna Wipe of Arizona laments, “Having to carry a roll of toilet paper around in my purse is ridiculous. The government has gone too far this time. Pretty soon they’ll be charging us to use the bathroom!”
“Not a bad idea,” says Senator Caesar when we run the idea by him.
Sounds like a serious bathroom problem, or maybe a great April Fools’ Day joke 😉