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Toilet Paper No Longer Offered in Government Restrooms!

Apr 1, 2011

The US government will no longer offer toilet paper in its public restrooms

It has been brought to the attention of ToiletPaperWorld that the United States government has formed a mandate stating that toilet paper will no longer be offered in public restrooms in government buildings throughout the country. Such an extreme measure has been taken in an effort to save money and avoid raising taxes or making budget cuts.


Congress suggests the public carry toilet tissue with them at all times in order to prevent uncomfortable situations or be otherwise inconvenienced. It is hoped that this effort will increase sales of toilet paper by the public and decrease government spending.

While much of the public is outraged by this message, Senator T.P. Caesar from Indiana states this measure is necessary. “We’ve cut the budget in so many areas, the only place left to implement money saving efforts is the bathroom. Many countries around the world do not supply toilet paper to restroom users, and we are simply following suit.”

As previously stated, consumers are not pleased. Iwanna Wipe of Arizona laments, “Having to carry a roll of toilet paper around in my purse is ridiculous. The government has gone too far this time. Pretty soon they’ll be charging us to use the bathroom!”

“Not a bad idea,” says Senator Caesar when we run the idea by him.

Sounds like a serious bathroom problem, or maybe a great April Fools’ Day joke 😉

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11 Responses to “Toilet Paper No Longer Offered in Government Restrooms!”

  1. Managed Hosting - April 1st, 2011 at 2:24 pm

    Please tell me this is an April’s Fool joke. Of all things to cut out of a budget, they’re going to cut out toilet paper? Some how this doesn’t make sense to me. I’m sure there are better things to cut out.

  2. MollyMae - April 4th, 2011 at 5:04 am

    Thanks for your comment! Fortunately, this was just an April Fool’s joke!

  3. Hard Money Lenders Los Angeles - April 4th, 2011 at 3:44 pm

    Thank goodness that was just a prank. Can you imagine the uproar something that simple would cause in Washington? I can see the picket signs now!

  4. Plumbing - April 6th, 2011 at 8:39 pm

    Toilet paper is a soft paper product used to maintain personal hygiene after human defecation or urination. However, it can also be used for other purposes such as absorbing spillages or craft projects. It differs in composition somewhat from facial tissue: most modern toilet paper is designed to decompose in septic tanks, whereas some other bathroom and facial tissues are not.

  5. Rug Cleaning Culver City - April 7th, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    My jaw dropped when I saw this, but then saw the previous comments. I would have quit if I worked in one of those offices. Or maybe start a toilet paper fund with the co-workers. Hahaha..nice prank.


  6. Molly - April 12th, 2011 at 5:14 am

    Glad you enjoyed our little joke! Hope you had a safe and fun April Fools Day.

  7. Car Title Loans - April 29th, 2011 at 11:19 am

    Evil. Just evil 😉 I didn’t even realize this was an April Fool’s Joke! I’m probably the most gullible person so thank you for adding to my flaw. I would be the person carrying the toilet paper in my purse if this really happened. LOL. Thanks for the Friday laugh.

  8. Molly - May 3rd, 2011 at 5:25 am

    Glad that you enjoyed our prank!

  9. Toyota Lease Return Los Angeles - May 24th, 2011 at 12:56 pm

    I’m so gullible! Even now that April fools has past, I was still up and ready to make a long comment about how ridiculous this is. You got me good!

  10. Filipino Auto Lease Broker Los Angeles - October 3rd, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    Oh wow, I should’ve known this was an April Fool’s joke first of all by the date, and second of all by the guy’s name… T.P. huh??? LOL!

  11. iphone 5 - October 20th, 2011 at 6:28 am


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